Welcome to FLOR (trailer)
About the Episode
During this intro episode, Dominique, host of FLOR, shares her personal journey of loving and supporting her younger brother Justin through his struggles with substance use. She discusses the complexities of addiction, the impact it has on siblings and their entire family, and to be a figure of support without sacrificing your own wellbeing.
Dominique also introduces the key beliefs that inspired FLOR, including the need to break stigma and focus on personal recovery. Join her for a journey that navigates family dynamics, the science of substance use disorder, and the paths to healing and hope.
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Resources
💬 FACEBOOK GROUP
Join our Facebook group, Siblings For Love of Recovery for:
Connect with other siblings
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Dominique: Hi everyone. I'm Dominique Dajer, the host of FLOR, For Love of Recovery. There are people in my life who I love deeply who struggle with using substances. One of those people is my younger brother, Justin. For the purposes of this podcast, I've gotten his okay to share some of his story as it relates to my personal experiences.
Until recently, I didn't fully understand the science of how addiction or alcoholism really works, let alone influences someone's behavior, their way of thinking, their physical and mental health. Until I had to witness it all firsthand. For years, I tried helping, which I later on learned was enabling.
And if you don't know what that means, it's okay. We'll cover that in one of our first couple of episodes. I also tried fixing, but I quickly realized that I was powerless over others and their struggles. Even when I found myself helping, sometimes I found myself doing so out of my own guilt or fear of what might happen if I did not intervene.
I couldn't accept that there is this person I just love so much. I could not help them no matter how hard I tried. Eventually I felt broken inside and I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I knew I needed to change my own behavior and eventually I had to shift some of that energy over to my own healing, but it did not happen overnight.
During this process, I began going to counseling, discovered Nar-Anon family groups, and learned about Harm Reduction. I came across multiple public and private resources that were unique to my local community, my city and other areas. But I didn't know they existed. And if I didn't know they existed, I'm sure a lot of people out there didn't know they existed either. I found several resources for parents, spouses, and children of people who use drugs or alcohol, but not many, if any, for siblings. And if you have a brother or a sister, then you know how unique a sibling relationship can be.
And if you're a parent, it's important to understand that the dynamic of how your children engage and support each other is highly influenced by their relationship with you and how they see the world. What ultimately made me a little bit stronger were the relationships I created along the way.
They led me towards creating FLOR, which was born out of simple beliefs.
1) People should not have to endlessly search for a community that understands the love and desire they have to help someone they love navigate their substance use.
2) You can still live your life in spite of your loved one's struggle once you decide to focus on your own recovery.
3) The language we use to talk about substance use and the people affected by it matters.
And 4) We need to break the stigma associated with the disease, which impacts how people receive access to treatment, their recovery services, and don't forget, it's an equal opportunity offender. So it affects people globally across all ages, races, religions, and genders.
Through these beliefs, FLOR is dedicated to helping siblings and their families navigate substance use disorder, its treatments, and how it affects their loved ones and their relationships. On some episodes, people will share their personal stories as it relates to their family, their siblings, and how they've overcome or are still navigating substance use.
And I'll also connect with leaders and advocates who can share their point of view on substance use from a mental health, community, or cultural lens. And maybe with just a little bit of hope and some new perspectives, miracles and healing can start to happen. Join me in this journey to better understand how substance use disorder, commonly referred to as addiction or alcoholism, is a family disease and explore the paths towards your own recovery.